


lasso

by Henanigans



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Introspection, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 17:25:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18056873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Henanigans/pseuds/Henanigans
Summary: Feigning sleep would be the easiest (and most ridiculous) escape route, but maybe tonight is the night Kim Hanbin chooses not to be a coward any longer.





	lasso

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic where nothing happens, really. 
> 
> Title from Lasso by Phoenix.

“10:15 PM? This might be a record.”

 

Jinhwan’s response takes the form of a throw pillow deftly flung and hitting Hanbin square in the face.

 

“Hey! Last Friday I was home well past midnight.”

 

“That doesn’t count because your date left at nine and you ended up hanging out with Junhoe.”

 

“Hanbin, why do you care so much about what time I get home from my dates?”

 

Hanbin quells the immediate rabbiting of his heart, unconsciously rubbing his palms against his sweatpants. He’s yet to take the pillow Jinhwan threw at him off so at least he knows his face won’t give him away.

 

That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? Why does Hanbin care so much? Why does he care at all? Jinhwan has been his roommate since his first year in college, has always been his roommate may it be in a house shared by seven people or a flat shared with three other friends or just the two of them.

 

Hanbin cannot recall a time he didn’t share space with Kim Jinhwan. It was second nature for him to drape his arm around Jinhwan’s shoulder, and he’s lost count of the times he’s fallen asleep drooling on Jinhwan’s lap.

 

There’s movement near Hanbin’s periphery and he can tell Jinhwan’s looming over where he’s laying on the couch. The pillow remains on his face, his only ally against the onslaught of feelings he’s buried down deep for nearly half a decade.

 

“Kim Hanbin? Earth to Kim Hanbin?” Jinhwan pokes him, voice playful when he adds, “Did you fall asleep in the middle of a conversation again?”

 

Feigning sleep would be the easiest (and most ridiculous) escape route, but maybe tonight is the night Kim Hanbin chooses not to be a coward any longer.

 

“If I answer you, will you let me keep the pillow on my face?”

 

Jinhwan laughs, and it adds another flock of butterflies swarming in Hanbin’s stomach.

 

“Yeah, sure. You weirdo.”

 

Hanbin hears Jinhwan’s voice right next to his ear. There’s no trace of malice or mockery at those words, and Hanbin even goes as so far to think there’s a sort of sweetness in Jinhwan’s tone whenever he calls Hanbin weird or strange or an idiot.

 

“Um.”

 

“So..?”

 

“Wait, what was the question again?”

 

“Uh, it was about you and keeping track of what time I get home from my dates?” Jinhwan replies. “I was just kidding around, Hanbin.”

 

There’s a shuffle of feet and Hanbin can tell Jinhwan is about to get up and walk away. He reaches his arm out, grabbing at whatever part of Jinhwan he manages to grasp. Turns out it’s Jinhwan’s hand, and Hanbin urges his sweat glands to take it easy.

 

“There’s something you need to know.”

 

The pillow slides off Hanbin’s face when he sits straight, slightly pulling at Jinhwan’s hand so they’re seated side-by-side on the living room couch. Jinhwan hasn’t made any move to extract his hand from Hanbin’s death grip and Hanbin takes it as a good sign.

 

“Go on,” Jinhwan says, not looking at Hanbin but focusing instead on the wall behind Hanbin’s head.

 

“I’m moving out.”

 

“What?” Jinhwan says, eyeing Hanbin with a frown, “You want to move out?”

 

“It’s a need more than a want, I think.”

 

“You think?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Hanbin, what’s going on?”

 

“I don’t think this living situation is working out for me anymore,” Hanbin mumbles, ducking his head, thumb skimming over the backs of Jinhwan’s fingers, “Sorry.”

 

Jinhwan is quiet for more than a stretch of time. Hanbin pries his eyes away from their clasped hands and notices Jinhwan staring at a spot behind him again.

 

“Is that clock out of batteries again?” Jinhwan says, apropos of nothing. He checks his watch, then checks the one on Hanbin’s wrist. “Shit, I missed it.”

 

Hanbin has known Jinhwan for about five years but he’s yet to get used to his friend’s mood and thought swings.

 

“Missed what?”

 

In lieu of an actual answer, Jinhwan leans in, their knees knocking when he kisses Hanbin.

 

“I missed you turning 23.”

 

Math was never Hanbin’s strong suit but he’s confident that if it’s 10:28 PM on October 21, it means there’s still well over an hour before he officially turns 23 years old. Jinhwan kissing him outside of a day dream and in actual reality just happened, however, so his judgement may be compromised.

 

“But it’s not my birthday yet... right?” Hanbin doubts himself more and more the longer Jinhwan is in his personal space and refusing to let go of Hanbin’s hand.

 

“It already is in Michigan. You were born in Ann Arbor at 1:27 AM,” Jinhwan says with a smile.

 

Hanbin tries to fight off his smile but fails spectacularly.

 

“Anything else you want to tell me? Or explain?”

 

“Sure,” Jinhwan says, tucking himself on Hanbin’s side and resting his head on Hanbin’s shoulder. “Your favorite colors are yellow and black. You like to sleep in the middle of the bed when you’re not sharing it with anyone and don’t care which side they take if you do. You like dogs the most. Your first word was “please.” You eat like a toddler. You hate alcohol and that’s why you never go to parties, but you would never admit that out loud. You’re smart and kind and so generous. You would do anything for your mom or your sister. You really don’t want to move out, and I don’t think you need to.”

 

Hanbin rests his chin on the top of Jinhwan’s head. It’s not an atypical scene, them pressed beside each other until there’s no space left between them. But it’s different tonight, with the two of the dancing around the almost tangible thing that has hung over their friendship for the past few years.

 

“I just don’t want to ruin it,” Hanbin starts. “I can’t lose you.”

 

“You’re so dramatic,” Jinhwan says, easing himself away so he can look Hanbin in the eye. “Just so we’re clear, you do understand that I like you? And you like me back?”

 

Hanbin nods, unable to form words.

 

“Good.” Jinhwan says, nodding in turn. “I know you’ve thought of every scenario where this explodes in our faces.” Jinhwan’s smile twists, downturning into a frown. “And it sucks that your brilliant solution is to move out.”

 

“Hold on.” Hanbin renews his grip on Jinhwan’s hand, lacing their fingers. “That’s not fair. You never said anything.”

 

“Untrue.” Jinhwan says, “Spring break, freshman year.”

 

That was the first and last college party Hanbin had ever been to so he remembers it as clearly as his alcohol-addled brain can recall.

 

“Anyone in that party who remembers everything that happened that weekend deserves a Nobel Peace Prize.”

 

“Well I remember the important parts. Like when you kissed me.”

 

“No...” Hanbin says, drawing a complete blank. “I don’t remember that.”

 

“That’s what I thought.” Jinhwan laughs without humor. “You wrote me a song on the spot. Something about tangerines and spring. Then I said—“

 

“If you remember any of this in the morning, then I’ll believe you.” Hanbin says, talking over Jinhwan.

 

Jinhwan laughs, genuine this time, the type of laugh that makes his eyes disappear into his cheeks.

 

“Well, it took you long enough.”

 

“That still counts, right?” Hanbin asks. “And we were drunk so cut me some slack.”

 

“As long as you rethink your decision about moving out.”

 

Hanbin’s cheeks ache from all the smiling he’s done but it’s all worth it. It’s the most peculiar road to happily ever after— not with a bang but a whimper, like what a thoroughly unrelated poem once said. But maybe sometimes that’s what love is. Not something to announce, not a guest whose presence that needs addressing. Maybe that’s the trade off when falling in love with your best friend— you can’t really pinpoint the beginning, how it all started.

 

But Hanbin will take it. He’ll take Jinhwan and his temper tantrums, Jinhwan and his sullenness, his ups and highs, his stubbornness, the way he always has to have the last word in, his charming smile that more than once has gotten them both into trouble, Jinhwan’s loyalty to the ones he cares for, his humor, his grit, his huge heart, the soup he cooks when he senses Hanbin is about to get sick, the dishes in the sink neither of them are willing to wash, and their too-small studio apartment in Santa Monica with the mismatched furniture and roof that leaks when it rains.

 

Hanbin will gladly take all of it, especially the hand resting in his. He grips it tight and hopes, knows, him and Jinhwan are finally on the same page.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Twitter @ writebowling where you can leave me prompts or coo about the boys.


End file.
